If dying is your way out of hell
by Yumeko Koneko
Summary: Karai is really frustrated from the guilt she had after chasing the turtles and Splinter and tried to commit suicide, but was stopped by some strange girl in a black kimono with blue hair and purple eyes and her black-horned friend. This girl wanted to tell her a reason to live. One-Shot. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!


**Well, yeah, my first story in English and on FF**

**Hope I didn't make any mistakes**

A lonely girl around sixteen year's old with strange clothes sat on the rooftop and watched carefully what happened underneath the sky.

It's around three hours in the morning, but you could still see heavy traffic and the angry shouts from the people which want to sleep peacefully weren't really better.

The girl let out a heavy sigh and she gripped the knife in her hand even tighter till her nails were digging into her flesh.

"What I've done is unforgiveable and no matter what happens they wouldn't hestitate to kill me like I did not so very long ago...",

She stood up and walked towards the end from the rooftop and gazed the rather beautiful city with nostalgic feelings inside her stomach.

It truly hurts to see how life goes on in this big city if you're trying to think about suicide.

"Nobody will need me. I takes me long to see that I'm worthless, nothing more than dirt, but at least I will be able to meet mother again. At least that's an advantage. But what if she's angry with me for trying to hunt down father and my half-siblings? If I were her I would never look again into my face...But there's no other way to leave this hell called life. If I would try to escape the Shredder will do everything to get me back and then I would put the turtles and...father in big danger. I couldn't do that!",

A sudden surge of pain floated through her entire body and she felt backwards.

She curled herself up into a ball and began to rip out some of her hair violently.

But the pain didn't stop.

"Stop it! Stop it, please!", shouted the girl, her face twisted with pain.

"So, you don't want to stop, do you? Then, TAKE THIS!"

She grabbed the knife and stabbed her own arm multiple times till the pain was replaced with numbness inside her arm.

A long time the only thing she's doing is breathing heavily and trying not to sob.

But soon enough she heard a familiar voice.

"Karai?",

Leo appeared in front of her a bit shocked to see her like that.

Normally she's a strong and mischievousness kunoichi, a rebellious girl with determination and full of surprises.

But right now she's vulnerable, confused...and broken.

Something he'd never expected to see.

"Uhm, are you okay? Maybe I could help you",

A dumb answer.

And he knew that.

"Leave me alone! And don't talk to me ever again, I'm not worth it", she said and stood up, trying to hide her tears.

"You just disturbed my attempt to committing suicide. Happy 'bout that, turtle? Why are you just...so annoying?"

"Aww, come on, Karai. Stop telling jokes, what reason should you have to- Wait, are you crazy?",

Leo saw how Karai was on the end of the edge her back turned to the loud city.

"There are so many ways to kill yourself and I could decide between the stabbing death or the falling-from-a-roof-death and this is my choice. Being stabbed looks much nicer but jumping is faster and easier. And I'm not a coward, I've already perforated my arm so why should I stop at this point?",

"Because there's someone who cares for you",

A bitter laugh escaped from her mouth when she answered:"Cared? By whom? By you?! I'm just your crush, not anybody you really cared for. Same goes for your brothers, the Foot-Clan, the Shredder and...Hamato Yoshi. Nobody really cared for me and you know what? Neither did I. If I were in your situation I would let you fall from the roof. And that's what you should do, too. So stop that begging and go home to your family."

"You...found out that stuff about your real father? And that's the reason why you want to kill yourself?",

She said nothing but nodded.

"And you didn't want to join us?", asked Leo hopefully.

"It's too late. You may be the only one from your family who trust me. I've done so terrible things in the past it's impossible to think about joining you. And even if you accept me, the Shredder will not hesitate to kill all of you in some more gruesome ways than you could imagine. But after all I know at last what had happened sixteen years ago and I won't die with the hate against my real father",

Leo wanted to respond but before he could Karai's falling with her back towards the nothing and he could only watch in horror how she disappeared from the roof.

"Turtles are truly slow animals", he whispered.

However, he couldn't hear the screams from people or something similar and decided to take a look at the streets.

For some strange reason there are neither any remains from a human being nor a single red stain.

"What the hell?", he thought.

Meanwhile in some other place:

Karai slowly opened her eyes and realized she's not in New York anymore.

Instead she floated trough some dark-purple mist at a place without gravity, time or end.

Several cubes surrounded her and she saw some of her memories inside.

One of those showed a little girl who's celebrating her 5. birthday on her own, because her daddy was to busy doing other stuff.

Another memory's about the same girl, only one year older, who's training even if she was exhausted and in pain.

All the other memories showed similar situations: The girl was always lonely and her only way to get her father's attention was to train till she's bleeding.

Attention and love, that's all what the little girl wanted from her whole-hearted respected and beloved father.

Seeing this picture's Karai started to think about her purpose in life and soon she realized, she'd never reach that goal, no matter what.

She didn't noticed the tears in her eyes until she felt something warm and wet in her face.

"Tears? I never cry, that's not me!", she shouted in the dark.

Of course nobody respond and Karai continued to cry, even if she didn't want to.

Suddenly she heard a soft female voice, who probably belonged to a little child.

"Please, stop crying, I don't like sadness", said the voice.

Karai stopped crying and lifted her head to see the voice's owner.

In front of her was a little girl with light-purple hair, an outfit, similar of one worn by the Shinto shrine maiden and...black horns?

"I'm sorry to say that, but sadness is not good, not good", said the girl a bit nervous.

"It's okay. I don't want to cry, either", answered Karai and wiped her tears away.

"By the way who the hell are you and were am I?"

"Uh, well my name is Hanyuu and that's my universe", responded the girl.

"Why am I here? And what are you? A mutant?",

The little girl laughed loudly and left Karai with a confused stare.

"Well, I'm not really a mutant, I am, what you would call, a god", answered Hanyuu.

"A god? Aww, come on, I don't believe in god or god's, they only exist in fairy tales", laughed Karai.

But Hanyuu's expression turned serious and soon Karai stopped laughing.

"You're not kidding, eh? So this means I'm actually dead and this is the gate to hell or heaven, isn't it?", she asked.

"Well, not really. I've taken you before you died and normally it's a sin for god's to let a living human inside this place, but this is exactly what I've done. Because I don't want to let you die",

"Why, I have no reason to live and I couldn't start a new life easily. You've just wasted your time",

"Don't have those thoughts!", answered a third voice, which also belonged to a female, maybe around 30 years old.

It's a real surprise for Karai, when a little girl appeared next to Hanyuu.

She wore a black kimono with colorful flower's and she had soft purple eyes.

"You won't be happy if you're thinking like this. And besides, there are persons, who have a much worse life than you. So stop with your self-pity and continue life somehow",

The girl sounded annoyed and Karai couldn't help but shivered.

Something was wrong about her.

Without respond she continued staring at her.

"I am one of them. I never had the opportunity to live a normal life, because I was forced to death since my birth. Somebody killed my parents, then my friends were killed and eventually I was the next dead person. And I never found out who had killed me", said the little girl.

Karai was shocked to hear that but didn't show that.

A maybe twelve-year-old was forced to die and before her parents and friends were killed.

That's a horrible fate, even worse than hers.

"But somehow I am able to return to life weeks before my death thanks to Hanyuu's power. And since hundred years I tried to escape my horrible fate, but it's still without success. This endless circle of death...",

For some strange reason Karai felt pity for her and she wanted to hug her but refused.

That's an awkward and strange, new feeling.

"What's your name. I want to hear it...", she whispered.

"Huh? My name is Rika Furude, or better I am her side, which is darker, more hopeless and more mature. That's the reason why my voice is that low", she said.

"You are not forced to die, you could even live a better life than now. Take the opportunity and go on living", Rika said softly.

"There's someone who cares for you."

Exactly now she looked more like a mother than a kid and Karai felt a wave of safety surrounding her.

"Okay. I will follow your advice. Please send me back!", she said.

"Hanyuu, you heard her. Obey her wish!", Rika called.

"Hauu~, okay", the girl with horns said cheerfully.

"Oh, yeah, before I forget: I should greet you from a woman called Tang Shen. I dunno who this is, but you may know it, right", Rika said.

"Y-Yeah, I do", a surprised Karai said.

"Well then, goodbye!",

"Yeah goodbye!",

"I hope to see ya again. And I wish you two are able to find a good fate", Karai said, before the world went black.

The noise from cars woke her up and she rubbed her eyes.

The first thing she saw was the black sky with the moon and a worried face above her.

"You're awake. Thanks goodness!", the person said and Karai recognized Leo.

"What the hell had happened? At first you jumped from the roof and now I see you here. Seriously, what happened?",

Karai didn't respond but stood up and hugged him without any thought.

"Eh?", he said surprised.

It was the first time he was hugged by some girl and he blushed visibly.

But Karai didn't care, she needed someone she could hug and it didn't matter if it's Leo or some random person.

They stood there for a long time and none of them said a word.

Rika & Hanyuu

"Come on, Hanyuu. To the next Hinamizawa!", Rika called.

"Wait a second! One question: Why did you want me to send that girl here, anyway?", the ghost asked curios.

"Because I'm a Leorai-Shipper and it's awkward to love a corpse. Now, shut up!", the girl said simply.

**And that was my first story in English. Nice comments, please.**

**Hope you enjoyed it ^^**

**Nice greetings,**

**Yumeko.**


End file.
